Sermon: Dangerous Vows

I Plight Thee My Troth
"The Power of Love" series, sermon 10
Rev. Cynthia O’Brien
Ecclesiastes 4:9 – 5:6 November 13, 2005
1 Corinthians 1:4-9; 15:58 – 16:4

ECC 4:9 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:
If one falls down,his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?

Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

ECC 4:13 Better a poor but wise youth than an old but foolish king who no longer knows how to take warning. 14 The youth may have come from prison to the kingship, or he may have been born in poverty within his kingdom. 15 I saw that all who lived and walked under the sun followed the youth, the king's successor. 16 There was no end to all the people who were before them. But those who came later were not pleased with the successor. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

ECC 5:1 Guard your steps when you go to the house of God. Go near to listen rather than to offer the sacrifice of fools, who do not know that they do wrong. Do not be quick with your mouth,do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few. As a dream comes when there are many cares, so the speech of a fool when there are many words.

ECC 5:4 When you make a vow to God, do not delay in fulfilling it. He has no pleasure in fools; fulfill your vow. 5 It is better not to vow than to make a vow and not fulfill it. 6 Do not let your mouth lead you into sin. And do not protest to the temple messenger, "My vow was a mistake." Why should God be angry at what you say and destroy the work of your hands? 7 Much dreaming and many words are meaningless. Therefore stand in awe of God.



I Corinthians 1

1CO 1:4 I always thank God for you because of his grace given you in Christ Jesus. 5 For in him you have been enriched in every way--in all your speaking and in all your knowledge-- 6 because our testimony about Christ was confirmed in you. 7 Therefore you do not lack any spiritual gift as you eagerly wait for our Lord Jesus Christ to be revealed. 8 He will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9 God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful.

I Corinthians 15

1CO 15:58 Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

1CO 16:1 Now about the collection for God's people: Do what I told the Galatian churches to do. 2 On the first day of every week, each one of you should set aside a sum of money in keeping with his income, saving it up, so that when I come no collections will have to be made. 3 Then, when I arrive, I will give letters of introduction to the men you approve and send them with your gift to Jerusalem. 4 If it seems advisable for me to go also, they will accompany me.


Have you ever heard this old wedding vow? "Thereto I plight thee my troth?" Troth, of course, means faithfulness; it’s from the same root that we get “truth.”


Did you ever wonder about that word Plight? Plight means 'pledge'. But the noun plight also means 'peril' or 'predicament'.

From about the 9th century, Pliht (short /i/) meant 'danger' or 'risk' The Old English verb plihtan meant 'to bring danger upon an object'. It gradually came to mean 'to bring danger upon an object by risking its forfeiture'. In other words, if you made a pledge, you had a solemn responsibility to fulfill it; failure to do so could place life and property in peril.

By the 14th century, the verb plight had come to mean 'to give in pledge' or 'to pledge (one's faithfulness or oath)'. It was used both in a general sense and with reference to betrothal or marriage. So the word plight meant “to give a pledge” but it also meant to “put at risk”.

To pledge something often involves risking something, and since we’re learning about love this fall, let’s talk about wedding vows.

A small boy was with his family at his aunt’s wedding rehearsal in the sanctuary of a church. At one point, the minister asked the groom to step forward. The boy turned to his mother and asked, “Is this where they nail the guy to the cross?”

How dangerous is the wedding vow? Pretty dangerous. Marriage is risky. Consider how strong a vow we have to take in order to be married. In our Presbyterian Book of Common Worship, it goes like this:

I, N., take you, N., to be my husband/ wife;
and I promise,
before God and these witnesses,
to be your loving and faithful husband / wife,
in plenty and in want;
in joy and in sorrow;
in sickness and in health;
as long as we both shall live.

An alternate version ends with the words: “until we are parted by death.”

Most people have taken these vows, but not everyone understands the reason they took them.

Michael was in a men’s group a few churches ago when they started talking about wedding vows. One man, an attorney, asked, “How can you expect people to follow through on their wedding vows? Young people get together, they don’t know what they are getting into or what the future holds for them. You can’t hold them to a promise they don’t understand.” Michael thought the attorney made an interesting philosophical point. Years later, Michael was surprised to be in a different men’s group when a different man said essentially the same thing. It turned out that it wasn’t about philosophy: the attorney was having an affair with his secretary, and the other man was cheating on his wife, too.

Tampering with the wedding vows leads to trouble. Or it can have a damaging effect at your gift registry.

Former Education Secretary Bill Bennett was invited to a colleague's wedding. They did not exchange the traditional vows, but pledged to stay together "as long as love shall last." So for a wedding gift, he sent them paper plates.

Of course, a young couple doesn’t know what they’re getting into. Of course, we don’t know what the winds of fate will bring. That’s the whole point of taking the vows. Life is uncertain, but we take vows to support each other through the risks and uncertainties of life. In a chaotic and uncertain world, I will be the constant. I will love you and stand by you, no matter what comes.

If your fiance suggests that your marriage is “as long as love shall last,” then give back the ring and fire the caterer, because this isn’t the person you want to take vows with. Only a person of character can keep vows, and you don’t want to be married to a person who lacks character. I want to be married to someone who has pledged to make the marriage work.

Think about the vows you make:

to be your loving and faithful husband / wife,

I could be faithful all the time, if faithfulness means not getting romantically entagled with anyone else. I could stand by him if, God forbid, Michael were terminally ill. But faithfulness is also about everyday living. It’s not berating your spouse because the girls have holes in their tights or because there’s no milk in the fridge or because the lawn is as high as an elephant’s eye. It’s not being irritated because you have to write a sermon every week and he doesn’t, or because you have to teach teenagers 6 days a week and she doesn’t. It’s doing your part around the house, and not quitting your job in a moment of anger. It’s tucking the kids into bed, and paying the bills on time. It’s making time for each other, and fixing the coffee the way he likes it, and bringing her a flower to make her smile. Loving and faithful spouses cherish each other every day.

in plenty and in want;

Read Ecclesiastes, chapters 4 and 5. The whole context of the section on vows is about how the more people hoard money, the more miserable they are. Plenty and want is not just about having more than enough or not having enough. It’s about the place that money occupies in your marriage.

One of our church members told me that she has been sponsoring children through World Vision or Compassion International, I don’t remember which, for more than 30 years. I asked her how she got started. She said, “It was nearing Christmas, and my three children were bugging me to buy them this thing and that thing, and it finally got to be too much. I made a decision. I said, ‘You don’t even know how good you have it. This Christmas, all the Christmas presents are going to people who need them.” And instead of Christmas presents for the kids, we sponsored three children overseas, one for each of my kids. And that was Christmas.”

in joy and in sorrow;

Dr. Daniel Fuller at Fuller Seminary had a favorite saying: “A Shared Joy is a Double Joy.”

Michael and I do our best to share our joys with each other, although sometimes it’s an act to be happy for the other. “Wow, honey, what’s that you got? A Wisywig 450 Gigabyte case, a 3 K processor with a flat video card, a Pentium port and a motherboard burner, all for $3500 and you only had to drive 60 miles? I’m so happy for you!”

To be fair, it can’t be easy to live with three females and have to be interested in Barbies and My Little Pony.

Share a joy with someone else and it is doubled; share your pain with someone and it is halved. That’s why God made Adam and Eve for each other.

in sickness and in health;

If I had a nickel for every time a church member said to me, “Cynthia, don’t get old.” Paul McCartney is 63 years old, and he should have been living out his days with his beloved Linda, God rest her soul. Let’s hope his new young wife likes him as much next year when he’s 64.

as long as we both shall live.

One couple I know were having a fight. She said, “Remember, dear, til death us do part.” He replied, “That’s why there are so many murders.”

Of course, there’s that one woman who did kill her husband, here in Gresham a few years ago, because she knew her church friends would scorn her if she divorced him, but they would have cared for her if he had been killed by a burglar. In her sociopathic mind, that led to murder.

As long as we both shall live. Til death us do part. Until we are parted by death. This is a serious and dangerous vow. But it is also a comforting vow. You don’t have to worry that your spouse is looking around for something better. You are people of integrity who honor that vow, and there’s comfort in that. We spend our energy working on our marriages, living out our vows.

The Bible encourages us to keep our vows. "When you make a vow to God, do not delay in fulfilling it." You can keep these vows. You have what it takes. God will help you. Listen to the encouragement God gives us:

I Corinthians: you do not lack any spiritual gift as you eagerly wait for our Lord Jesus Christ to be revealed. 8 He will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. stand firm. Let nothing move you.

Ecclesiastes: A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. referring to you, your spouse, and the Holy Spirit.

And the promise from Philippians: He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion .