Sermon: The Head of This House

Christ The King 2005
Rev. Cynthia O’Brien

PL 11 “The Head of This House”
November 20, 2005

Colossians 1:15-20
John 18:33-38

^{COL 1:15} He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. ¹⁶ For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. ¹⁷ He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. ¹⁸ And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. ¹⁹ For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, ²⁰ and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross.

John 18

^{JN 18:33} Pilate then went back inside the palace, summoned Jesus and asked him, "Are you the king of the Jews?"

^{JN 18:34} "Is that your own idea," Jesus asked, "or did others talk to you about me?"

^{JN 18:35} "Am I a Jew?" Pilate replied. "It was your people and your chief priests who handed you over to me. What is it you have done?"

^{JN 18:36} Jesus said, "My kingdom is not of this world. If it were, my servants would fight to prevent my arrest by the Jews. But now my kingdom is from another place."

^{JN 18:37} "You are a king, then!" said Pilate.

Jesus answered, "You are right in saying I am a king. In fact, for this reason I was born, and for this I came into the world, to testify to the truth. Everyone on the side of truth listens to me."

^{JN 18:38} "What is truth?" Pilate asked.

Every family is on a journey. Imagine you’re driving somewhere, or flying, or sailing on a ship. If you want to go someplace good, and not just wander around, you need a captain, and you have to know where you’re going.

Albert Einstein was on a train once. The conductor came by and asked for his ticket, but Einstein couldn’t find it. The conductor said, “That’s all right, Professor, I know who you are.” Einstein kept looking for the ticket, and the conductor said, “Really, Professor, it’s all right.” Einstein said, “I need to find it so I know where I’m going!”

Some families, even Christian families, appear to not know where they are going. Observing them from the outside, one might conclude that their goals are mixed up. The things they are buying, the dreams they have, come right from the television, and they’re paying for them with maxed-out credit cards at 18 percent interest. Kids are under peer pressure at school, and parents let their children drive the family’s decisions. They sincerely want to be successful, but they are trying to fulfill someone else’s idea of success. Christ is not the head of those homes.

It’s so easy to get caught up in pursuing things that split the family apart. And it’s not necessarily your fault. Maybe you didn’t have adequate role models growing up. Maybe no one taught you how to choose a spouse wisely, or how to grow a marriage. Now you find that you and your spouse and your kids drawn in different directions, running here and there. People have living rooms they don’t live in, and family rooms where the family is never together.

I remember years ago, sitting down with two other couples over lunch at one of their homes. While the kids played outside, they talked to us about their money and what they were doing with it. They were both extremely successful and had beautiful homes. They wondered what God might be calling them to do with their success. People who sit down and think about these things can have some life changing experiences. One of those at lunch was Todd Engstrom, a doctor that many of you know. He left his practice for a month to take his wife, Lisa, and his daughters, Anna and Britta, to Kenya to give medical care to impoverished people.

Jesus said “My kingdom is not of this world.” He leads us to do things that others wouldn’t think of doing. He guides us to make decisions that seem foolish to our neighbors, co-workers or in-laws. But he also takes us on a journey that is, literally, out of this world. If you follow Christ, if you take him seriously, it will be the ride of your life.

Many people follow the radical call of Christ, but even more, when presented with the idea, will just decide not to decide. Jesus says to them, “For this I came into the world, to testify to the truth. Everyone on the side of truth listens to me."

And they reply, “What is Truth?”

The Bible is clear that you can’t avoid making a decision about whether Christ is Lord. I’m reminded of two beautiful sayings that are often framed and hung in homes:

One is: “Bidden, or not bidden, God is present.”

The other: “Christ is the head of this house,

the unseen guest at every meal, the silent listener to every conversation.”

The Lord is already in your home, whether you invited him or not. The Lord is the Lord over all things, whether you acknowledge him or not.

By him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. ¹⁷ He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. ¹⁸ And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy.

There is no question that Christ is supreme. This is the question: Is Christ the Head of your house? Is he the captain of your journey?

Someone said, “If God is your co-pilot, you’re in the wrong seat.”

When we have the kingdom of God in our sights and Christ is our captain, then Christ will be the head of the house. This afternoon, when you go home, you can reaffirm Christ as the head of your home. Go back to Deuteronomy 6, which shows us how to live the faith at home:

⁵ Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. ⁶ These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. ⁷ Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

Reading the Bible at home with the family, praying together, acknowledging God and godly principles, will go a long way

Kari Torjesen Malcom was a missionary to China and the Philippines, and she wrote this book, “Building Your Family to Last,” when I was in seminary. She was my professor for a class. I was impressed by her philosophy of making Christ the head of her home, and it seemed to have a lasting positive effect on her daughters. Kari’s daughter O-i told her mother about growing up in that family, and Kari wrote it in the book:

“You and Pa were committed to the quest of seeking truth and doing what God wanted us to do. You always fought in front of us kids, and outlined the questions and issues with us – how to relate to Filipinos, how you should relate as husband and wife, how to make cultural adjustments – you worked it all out in front of us. We saw how Christians should work out their problems.

“In life you modeled what you valued and did not value. By not talking about clothes, for instance, you showed they were not important to you. You didn’t fuss about the length of our miniskirts or if we went braless. You were not legalistic about those things. Your focus was not on them, either on buying them or not buying them.

“(I am shocked now to realize what income we lived on.) Our lifestyle was cheap because our values were on good books, travel and having interesting people at our dinner table. We had a good life, not defined by the TV or movies.

“You always told us the truth about yourself, your mission and your church. We knew about the problem of evil early, so evil was never a shock to us. You continued to work as corrupt people with corrupt people in a corrupt church. And I knew early that I was evil, too. That’s a powerful theological truth. With it came an emphasis on God’s grace breaking through the evil. That’s why I am a Christian today.”

The dedication of Kari’s book says it all:

“To our children, Kirsten and O-i, who have given us the highest joy

as they have, with their families, accepted the torch of freedom to continue without interruption the family adventure of many generations to the City of God.”

Do you know where your family is going? Our family’s goals these days primarily revolve around the girls’ character formation, their education and their personal growth.

Perhaps you are planning for future service on the mission field. You’re saving up to be able to work with a group like Habitat for Humanity when you retire. You are thinking about what kind of legacy you are going to leave, and how you will be remembered. You have made provision for the Lord’s work in your will.

I wrote in the November Carillon that Thanksgiving is a good time to sit down with your family and talk about who you are and what you’re about. Where are we going as a family? Who is our captain? How are we going to get there? What are we saving for? What are we hoping for? How will we get the most out of life? How will we make a difference in our community?

Rual Lee died on Wednesday, less than a week after her doctors told her that her condition was terminal. Less than a month ago she was ministering to several of you in her role as a deacon. She called and asked you how you were doing. She was praying for you. 71 may not be young, but that girl had a lot of life in her. She lived with joy, whether working in the garden among all her favorite flowers, or spending time with her husband and children and grandchildren.

We simply don’t know how much time we have together, which is what makes this urgent. Make Christ the Head of your home. Seek the kingdom of God. Live according to all your favorite scriptures. Do justice, love kindness, walk humbly with your God. Walk through the shadow of death and fear no evil. Be fruitful with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and self control.

It’s not too late to turn your family around, to turn your life around, to decide where you want to go.

A verse I commend to you is printed in your bulletin.

Choose this day whom you will serve… As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

Sermon: Dangerous Vows

I Plight Thee My Troth
"The Power of Love" series, sermon 10
Rev. Cynthia O’Brien
Ecclesiastes 4:9 – 5:6 November 13, 2005
1 Corinthians 1:4-9; 15:58 – 16:4

ECC 4:9 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:
If one falls down,his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?

Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

ECC 4:13 Better a poor but wise youth than an old but foolish king who no longer knows how to take warning. 14 The youth may have come from prison to the kingship, or he may have been born in poverty within his kingdom. 15 I saw that all who lived and walked under the sun followed the youth, the king's successor. 16 There was no end to all the people who were before them. But those who came later were not pleased with the successor. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

ECC 5:1 Guard your steps when you go to the house of God. Go near to listen rather than to offer the sacrifice of fools, who do not know that they do wrong. Do not be quick with your mouth,do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few. As a dream comes when there are many cares, so the speech of a fool when there are many words.

ECC 5:4 When you make a vow to God, do not delay in fulfilling it. He has no pleasure in fools; fulfill your vow. 5 It is better not to vow than to make a vow and not fulfill it. 6 Do not let your mouth lead you into sin. And do not protest to the temple messenger, "My vow was a mistake." Why should God be angry at what you say and destroy the work of your hands? 7 Much dreaming and many words are meaningless. Therefore stand in awe of God.



I Corinthians 1

1CO 1:4 I always thank God for you because of his grace given you in Christ Jesus. 5 For in him you have been enriched in every way--in all your speaking and in all your knowledge-- 6 because our testimony about Christ was confirmed in you. 7 Therefore you do not lack any spiritual gift as you eagerly wait for our Lord Jesus Christ to be revealed. 8 He will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9 God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful.

I Corinthians 15

1CO 15:58 Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

1CO 16:1 Now about the collection for God's people: Do what I told the Galatian churches to do. 2 On the first day of every week, each one of you should set aside a sum of money in keeping with his income, saving it up, so that when I come no collections will have to be made. 3 Then, when I arrive, I will give letters of introduction to the men you approve and send them with your gift to Jerusalem. 4 If it seems advisable for me to go also, they will accompany me.


Have you ever heard this old wedding vow? "Thereto I plight thee my troth?" Troth, of course, means faithfulness; it’s from the same root that we get “truth.”


Did you ever wonder about that word Plight? Plight means 'pledge'. But the noun plight also means 'peril' or 'predicament'.

From about the 9th century, Pliht (short /i/) meant 'danger' or 'risk' The Old English verb plihtan meant 'to bring danger upon an object'. It gradually came to mean 'to bring danger upon an object by risking its forfeiture'. In other words, if you made a pledge, you had a solemn responsibility to fulfill it; failure to do so could place life and property in peril.

By the 14th century, the verb plight had come to mean 'to give in pledge' or 'to pledge (one's faithfulness or oath)'. It was used both in a general sense and with reference to betrothal or marriage. So the word plight meant “to give a pledge” but it also meant to “put at risk”.

To pledge something often involves risking something, and since we’re learning about love this fall, let’s talk about wedding vows.

A small boy was with his family at his aunt’s wedding rehearsal in the sanctuary of a church. At one point, the minister asked the groom to step forward. The boy turned to his mother and asked, “Is this where they nail the guy to the cross?”

How dangerous is the wedding vow? Pretty dangerous. Marriage is risky. Consider how strong a vow we have to take in order to be married. In our Presbyterian Book of Common Worship, it goes like this:

I, N., take you, N., to be my husband/ wife;
and I promise,
before God and these witnesses,
to be your loving and faithful husband / wife,
in plenty and in want;
in joy and in sorrow;
in sickness and in health;
as long as we both shall live.

An alternate version ends with the words: “until we are parted by death.”

Most people have taken these vows, but not everyone understands the reason they took them.

Michael was in a men’s group a few churches ago when they started talking about wedding vows. One man, an attorney, asked, “How can you expect people to follow through on their wedding vows? Young people get together, they don’t know what they are getting into or what the future holds for them. You can’t hold them to a promise they don’t understand.” Michael thought the attorney made an interesting philosophical point. Years later, Michael was surprised to be in a different men’s group when a different man said essentially the same thing. It turned out that it wasn’t about philosophy: the attorney was having an affair with his secretary, and the other man was cheating on his wife, too.

Tampering with the wedding vows leads to trouble. Or it can have a damaging effect at your gift registry.

Former Education Secretary Bill Bennett was invited to a colleague's wedding. They did not exchange the traditional vows, but pledged to stay together "as long as love shall last." So for a wedding gift, he sent them paper plates.

Of course, a young couple doesn’t know what they’re getting into. Of course, we don’t know what the winds of fate will bring. That’s the whole point of taking the vows. Life is uncertain, but we take vows to support each other through the risks and uncertainties of life. In a chaotic and uncertain world, I will be the constant. I will love you and stand by you, no matter what comes.

If your fiance suggests that your marriage is “as long as love shall last,” then give back the ring and fire the caterer, because this isn’t the person you want to take vows with. Only a person of character can keep vows, and you don’t want to be married to a person who lacks character. I want to be married to someone who has pledged to make the marriage work.

Think about the vows you make:

to be your loving and faithful husband / wife,

I could be faithful all the time, if faithfulness means not getting romantically entagled with anyone else. I could stand by him if, God forbid, Michael were terminally ill. But faithfulness is also about everyday living. It’s not berating your spouse because the girls have holes in their tights or because there’s no milk in the fridge or because the lawn is as high as an elephant’s eye. It’s not being irritated because you have to write a sermon every week and he doesn’t, or because you have to teach teenagers 6 days a week and she doesn’t. It’s doing your part around the house, and not quitting your job in a moment of anger. It’s tucking the kids into bed, and paying the bills on time. It’s making time for each other, and fixing the coffee the way he likes it, and bringing her a flower to make her smile. Loving and faithful spouses cherish each other every day.

in plenty and in want;

Read Ecclesiastes, chapters 4 and 5. The whole context of the section on vows is about how the more people hoard money, the more miserable they are. Plenty and want is not just about having more than enough or not having enough. It’s about the place that money occupies in your marriage.

One of our church members told me that she has been sponsoring children through World Vision or Compassion International, I don’t remember which, for more than 30 years. I asked her how she got started. She said, “It was nearing Christmas, and my three children were bugging me to buy them this thing and that thing, and it finally got to be too much. I made a decision. I said, ‘You don’t even know how good you have it. This Christmas, all the Christmas presents are going to people who need them.” And instead of Christmas presents for the kids, we sponsored three children overseas, one for each of my kids. And that was Christmas.”

in joy and in sorrow;

Dr. Daniel Fuller at Fuller Seminary had a favorite saying: “A Shared Joy is a Double Joy.”

Michael and I do our best to share our joys with each other, although sometimes it’s an act to be happy for the other. “Wow, honey, what’s that you got? A Wisywig 450 Gigabyte case, a 3 K processor with a flat video card, a Pentium port and a motherboard burner, all for $3500 and you only had to drive 60 miles? I’m so happy for you!”

To be fair, it can’t be easy to live with three females and have to be interested in Barbies and My Little Pony.

Share a joy with someone else and it is doubled; share your pain with someone and it is halved. That’s why God made Adam and Eve for each other.

in sickness and in health;

If I had a nickel for every time a church member said to me, “Cynthia, don’t get old.” Paul McCartney is 63 years old, and he should have been living out his days with his beloved Linda, God rest her soul. Let’s hope his new young wife likes him as much next year when he’s 64.

as long as we both shall live.

One couple I know were having a fight. She said, “Remember, dear, til death us do part.” He replied, “That’s why there are so many murders.”

Of course, there’s that one woman who did kill her husband, here in Gresham a few years ago, because she knew her church friends would scorn her if she divorced him, but they would have cared for her if he had been killed by a burglar. In her sociopathic mind, that led to murder.

As long as we both shall live. Til death us do part. Until we are parted by death. This is a serious and dangerous vow. But it is also a comforting vow. You don’t have to worry that your spouse is looking around for something better. You are people of integrity who honor that vow, and there’s comfort in that. We spend our energy working on our marriages, living out our vows.

The Bible encourages us to keep our vows. "When you make a vow to God, do not delay in fulfilling it." You can keep these vows. You have what it takes. God will help you. Listen to the encouragement God gives us:

I Corinthians: you do not lack any spiritual gift as you eagerly wait for our Lord Jesus Christ to be revealed. 8 He will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. stand firm. Let nothing move you.

Ecclesiastes: A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. referring to you, your spouse, and the Holy Spirit.

And the promise from Philippians: He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion .

Sermon: Eternal Love

The Power of Love:
Eternal Love
by Rev. Cynthia O'Brien
November 6, 2005 (All Saints Sunday)

Psalm 116:12-19

^{PS 116:12} How can I repay the LORD for all his goodness to me? I will lift up the cup of salvation and call on the name of the LORD. I will fulfill my vows to the LORD in the presence of all his people.
Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints.

1 Corinthians 15:51-57

^{1CO 15:50} I declare to you, brothers, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable. ⁵¹ Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed-- ⁵² in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. ⁵³ For the perishable must clothe itself with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality. ⁵⁴ When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: "Death has been swallowed up in victory."

^{1CO 15:55} "Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?" The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. ⁵⁷ But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

I read in the Oregonian last week about Diane Martinez Mandaville. She has a Halloween party every year with her neighbors. But this year, as she had been studying her heritage, she asked her neighbors: What would you think if this year, instead of our traditional Halloween party, I held one for the Day of the Dead?”

Day of the Dead is the Latino observance of All Saints Day, November 1, the day on which we remember those who have died. In Latino cultures, it includes making altars to remember the person and celebrating with sweets in the shape of skulls and skeletons.

Diane told her neighbors she’d like to build an altar for her grandmother, and she wanted to invite the neighbors to build altars, too.

She said the reactions ranged from interested to “eewww.” She said, “One of my neighbors thought the skulls, the whole idea of Day of the Dead, was scary, morbid and awful,” she said. But I thought to myself, “She just doesn’t understand.

“The skulls are a reminder of our mortality and our immortality. My grandmother is very much alive. We don’t stop at the point of our death.”

They planned the party, complete with authentic Mexican food, then she started on her grandmother’s altar. On a table she laid a brightly striped blanket and a few of her grandmother’s possessions and several other symbols of what she had loved in life: a plastic rosary, images of the Virgin Mary, mermaids, a stack of cinnamon sticks, and a necklace strung with topaz, silver and an avocado charm. “These are the things that bring her back to life for me.”

A neighbor prepared an altar dedicated to four deceased relatives, and it turned out to be a good experience. She said, “What surprised me were the overwhelming emotions that I felt.” I’m not Latina and the Day of the Dead is not part of my cultural tradition, but participating in this really moved me.”

The reluctant neighbor, the one who had thought it was scary morbid and awful: She made skeletons of white chocolate, stayed through the whole party and declared it “wonderful” before she went home.

Diane says “There were watery eyes all over the place. People were sad and happy all at the same time.

from “Grateful for the Dead” by Nancy Haught, The Oregonian, Wednesday, Nov 2, 2005.

The Day of the Dead, or All Souls Day, can be a very sad time, remembering our loved ones who are separated from us. And it’s right to be sad.

Charles Allen, a Methodist minister, wrote about the sorrow when a loved one dies:

When a loved one’s body dies, it breaks our hearts and fills our eyes with tears. We would not have it otherwise. There is something wrong with a person who can be physically separated from one he truly loved and not feel deep sorrow. It always leaves a hurt in our hearts that will never be healed. Sorrow because of death is not a lack of faith. Though we have complete confidence in the future life, still the separation is hard to bear.

But for believers, death is not the end. That’s why we have so many poems and images and songs about death being not the end, but a doorway, a passage into eternal life.

It is because of our faith that we feel sorrow instead of despair. Those who believe in God may be brokenhearted at the loss, but we also have hope.

^{1CO 15:50} I declare to you, brothers, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable.

Part of the reason people die is that we live in perishable bodies which cannot exist forever in heaven.

⁵¹ Listen, I tell you a mystery:

What you are about to learn is a mystery. There are many who do not understand it.

Dr. Johnson was one of those who did not understand the mystery. He was a friend of Bible teacher William Barclay. Once a man said to Dr. Johnson that there had been times when he had not feared death. Johnson answered that “he never had a moment in which death was not terrible to him.” Once a woman told him that he should not have a horror for death, because death is the gate of life. Johnson answered, “No rational man can die without uneasy apprehension.” He said that the fear of death was so natural to man, that all life was one long effort not to think about it.

He was one who could not grasp the mystery. But you will understand:

the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. ⁵³ For the perishable must clothe itself with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality.

The perishable bodies must be transformed into heavenly bodies. Each person will still be the person God made them to be.

One believer who did accept the mystery was Saint Gregory of Nazianzen. He lived in Asia Minor from 330 to 390, was Bishop of Constantinople for the last 9 years of his life, and worked hard to prevent the Arians from causing schism in the church. He preached at the funeral of his brother Caesarius. Listen to what he said, and see whether these would be hopeful words to you on the death of a close relative:

“Why am I so earthly in my thoughts? I shall await the voice of the archangel, the last trumpet, the transformation of heaven, the change of earth, the renewal of the universe. Then I shall see my brother Caesarius himself, no longer in exile, no longer being buried, no longer mourned, no longer pitied, but splendid, glorious, sublime, such as you were often seen in a dream, dearest and most loving of brothers, whether my desire or truth itself represented you.

(Ancient commentary on 1 Corinthians, p. 180, FC 22:23)

⁵⁴ When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: "Death has been swallowed up in victory."

^{1CO 15:55} "Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?"

Remember Jesus explained this to Martha in John 11

^{JN 11:23} Jesus said to her, "Your brother will rise again." Martha answered, "I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day." Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; ²⁶ and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?" "Yes, Lord," she told him, "I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who was to come into the world."

When our perishable earthly bodies have been transformed into heavenly bodies that will never die, then the final victory over death will have been accomplished. God has promised that one day death will no longer have victory or sting because, as it says in Revelation 21, death will be no more, and here in 1 Corinthians,

⁵⁷ But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

Perhaps this is why we feel better after a funeral or memorial service when this hope has been lifted up. We realize that we are not in love with a dead person, but with a person who lives on.

Reading by Henry Scott Holland (1847-1918), Canon of St. Paul’s Cathedral, London

“Death Is Nothing at All”

Death is nothing at all. I have only slipped away into the next room. I am I and you are you. Whatever we were to each other, that we still are. Call me by my old familiar name, speak to me in the easy way which you always used. Put no difference in your tone, wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow. Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together. Let my name be ever the household word that it always was, let it be spoken without effect, without the trace of a shadow on it. Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was; there is unbroken continuity. Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just round the corner. All is well.

(found in the book “For those we love but see no longer” by the Rev. Lisa Belcher Hamilton.)
Love doesn’t end when a person dies. It’s up to you to think about how you express and receive that love. Many people talk to their loved one – one of my friends walks into her husband’s den and talks to him as if he were right there, and she find comfort in that.

I have found that many people keep that love alive by acts of remembrance. I am a kinesthetic person – I like to do things with my hands, so I notice those kinds of things.

People in our church have done a lot of interesting things to remember a spouse or loved one. One family planted a tree recently to remember their dog who died. One wife made their wedding rings into a beautiful necklace. Many people visit the cemetery, or visit a place that he always loved to go, or make a donation to a charity in her memory.

When my mom’s longtime companion, Phil, died a few years ago, she made albums for me and for my brother of pictures and copies of some of the cards and artwork he made.

Phil’s love is especially near me whenever I do certain kinds of artwork that he taught me. Maybe your dad taught you fly fishing, or your mom taught you to cook a special dish. Doing those things can be an act of remembrance. Just think about what you’ll be having for Thanksgiving dinner – the recipes are loaded with history.

When you water that tree, or wear that jewelry, or go to that place, or look at the album, or make that recipe, you keep that love alive.

Diane Martinez had a table of remembrance for her grandmother. You might find that a nice thing to do – set up a little place with some special memories.

In the church we have a table of remembrance. It has things on it that help us remember. And while some people might be put off by the words “this is my body” and “this is my blood,” this is not morbid and it’s not scary. It’s a reminder of the mortality and immortality of Jesus Christ, and as Jesus said, “do this in remembrance of me,” we remember not only his death, but his rising. More than that, the spiritual presence of Christ is here. At this table today, we will remember our loved ones who have died, and we will look forward to the day when they – and we – will be raised with Christ to eternal life.

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God bless you
Cynthia O'Brien